“Thank you,” I whispered very softly. “But…Woody, do you think I am?”

“I don’t know, honey. I’ll be honest; I’d have to say there’s a real possibility of it. You need to take a test. You won’t sleep well until you know for sure. The tests are more accurate if you wait a little longer than this but I think you can get them in packs of two. Take one now and one next week to be sure.”

“Oh my gosh! I can’t yet! That’ll make it all seem more real, y’know? What’ll I do? I can’t possibly…!”

“Okay, okay. First of all, I need you to calm your cute but spastic ass down, babe. I’ll go to the library and pick up some books on how to tell if you’re pregnant and I’ll meet you at your apartment after I get off work tonight. I should be there by 10. Okay?”

“All right.” I said, still wiping away tears.

“Now, you, young lady, are going to have a good day in spite of this, understand? If it turns out you are, then it’s meant to be and we’ll deal. If you aren’t, then great. Bullet dodged. Lesson learned. Now, get to work or you’ll be late.”

“Thank you.”

I really loved Woody. Since I met him, he had become my friend, my confidante, my advisor and a lot more…but never my lover. It was a complicated relationship. Clearly there was something there. I mean, everyone saw it. We laughed a lot when we were together but we could also argue like an old married couple. He was sort of a father, a brother and even a girlfriend all rolled into one but for some reason, the thought of the two of us getting together sexually had always, sometimes literally, given me the shivers. We both just accepted that and sort of agreed without saying anything never to bring up that one little subject.

Somehow, I got through the day. I called Woody at his office three times just to hear his voice. He kept insisting that I take a pregnancy test but I just couldn’t…yet. I know it sounds ridiculous but I had to have some kind of reassurance of the outcome before I’d feel comfortable doing that. Finally, ten o’clock arrived. I had been home from the store about half an hour, nervously cleaning before Woody arrived. On time as always, he knocked our secret knock, then used the key I had given him in case I ever misplaced mine to come on in.

“Hey!” I said nervously. I had never been so happy to see him in my life. I had spent the day feeling bloated and gassy and hungry. I was convincing myself I was pregnant. I needed him to convince me I wasn’t.

“Hey. I got books!” He held up a bag with what appeared to be three or four books on pregnancy. Oh my gosh! It was kind of like a bizarre dream that I even needed these. I had always been so careful in the past. We both got comfortable on the floor and Woody spread the books out. There was SECRETS OF EARLY PREGNANCY, PREGNANT WITHOUT FEARS, YOUR BEST FRIEND TALKS ABOUT PREGNANCY and SO YOU THINK YOU’RE EXPECTING.

I offered to get us each a glass of wine but he yelled at me. “Are you crazy? Don’t answer that! If you’re pregnant, you are going to have to stop drinking immediately along with any other little self-indulgences you have.” I was shocked and normally I would have yelled back at Woody but, under the circumstances, I knew he was right and I just started crying. The tears welled up slowly as the potential of reality hit me hard. He was staring into my teary eyes when the floodgates broke open.

“I’m sorry,” he cooed. “I am so sorry.” He reached out and put his arms around me. Even though I normally refrained from getting too physical with Woody, I put my arms around him, too, and began sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder. As if on another plane, somewhere, I could feel his left hand rubbing up and down my back slowly. He was trying to comfort me but I felt odd little electric tingles. I broke the hug quickly and pulled away with a look of confusion on my face. “What is it?” he asked.

“I….Just…Oh, nothing.” I fibbed. “I’m just scared, dammit!”

“I know, baby. Oh…strike that. Bad choice of words.”

I started laughing at that and wiped the tears away. Woody had the uncanny ability to be able to make me laugh at the most serious moments just by saying something stupid. If he had gotten the same strange vibes that I did when we hugged he wasn’t letting on.

“Okay, girl, let’s get down to business.” With that we each grabbed one of the books and started going through it looking for tips on early signs. I found one first.

“It says here that one of the surest early signs is extra-sensitive nipples. Dammit! My nipples are always really sensitive. How the hell does that tell me anything!?”

“Repeat after me: Calm is a good thing!” I stuck my tongue out at him and he took the book out of my hand and started reading.” Hmmm. Well… lie down and take off your shirt.”

“What the fuck?”

“Just once, will you listen to me? I’m trying to help here. Look, if it eases your mind any, I’m not a breast man, remember?” He stood and walked quickly into my kitchen.

“Lie down and take off your shirt!” he yelled back.

We were very close but this still seemed weird. I pulled a pillow off the couch onto the floor and got as comfortable as I could. I tentatively pulled my shirt up over my breasts. My boobs were kind of flattened and the air-conditioning made my nipples hard already.

“All right. Here we go.”

“What are you…? Ice? Oh, no, you don’t.” I pulled down my top and started to get up but he gently but firmly pushed me back and just stared. I lifted the shirt again.

“Mmmm. Not bad!” he leered jokingly…I think.

“Stop that! Go ahead and let’s get this over with.”

He took a dripping ice cube he had gotten from my freezer and held it between two fingers. Then he began running it slowly over my upper body, oddly avoiding the nipples. “Exactly what the fuck are you doing?”

“Shhhh. I’m desensitizing your body to the cold so we can tell just how sensitive your nipples really are. I saw it in a movie once”

“Yeah, right! I know what kind of movies YOU wa…”

“Hush!”

His eyes were on my body, lying exposed in front of him in a way I could have never imagined. Was he really not noticing me? I watched his face and he seemed oblivious to the topless woman lying on the floor. The ice was cold in an already cold room. My entire chest and stomach were getting wet. Strangely, it felt as though other parts of my body were, too. Finally, Woody got to the point, rubbing the melting ice cube across my left nipple. My nipples were pretty large and, as I said, always very sensitive. There had been times that I felt as though I could almost come just from having my nipples teased and rubbed. He was going very slowly, looking into my eyes now as he asked, “Feel anything?”

“Not much of an ice cube left, dumbass. Our body heat melted it.” He looked at what was left of the cube, popped it into his mouth and wiped his hands on his pants.

“Sorry. Sort of seemed like a good idea at the time.” He picked up the small kitchen towel he’d brought in with the ice and began drying my body. “Guess we’ll have to use the old-fashioned way. Hold still, now…” I was really nervous about this. I felt so…well, NAKED in front of my best friend but he seemed almost clinical about it, like he was a doctor or something. His finger was shaking visibly, though, as he moved it toward my nipple. He touched it tentatively, brushing lightly across it. It felt like a fire burning in his touch. Then he took two fingers and kind of manipulated my tit back and forth. “Anything?” he asked.

“Nothing, “ I lied, shuddering and stifling a moan. I could feel both nipples straining to get even harder than they already were and, more surprisingly, my head started feeling a bit dizzy. I didn’t think these were the reactions he was looking for, however, so I kept them to myself. “I mean, obviously they’re really sensitive but, like I said, mine usually are.” “Hmmmm.” He reached down and stroked the other one. A shiver went through me and a little gasp escaped my mouth. “You okay?”, he asked.

I sat up quickly, pulling down my shirt and brushing my hair back. “Fine. Look, there was no difference. I think I’m ready to take the test now.” I was actually very confused. Woody was my friend, not my lover, yet I felt my juices definitely flowing. I felt my skin feeling hotter in the cold living room and I felt my head spinning when he touched me…and he didn’t seem to notice any of this shit! Were my nipples extra-sensitive because I was pregnant? Who the hell could think about something like that at a time like this? I was going crazy!

“Has anyone ever told you that you can be damn frustrating at times?”, he sighed as I flitted across the room leaving him sitting there on the floor.

“Asshole!” I said.

“What made you change your mind so suddenly?”

“Well, I…I…I just decided that you were right…as usual…so I should just listen to you.” I said it but I couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Oh, yeah. I can really see that being a possibility. What’s the real story?”

“Shut up! I just decided that all the old wives’ tales in the world wouldn’t give me the good solid information that one pregnancy test can.” I nodded my head assuredly but I realized that it was myself I was trying to convince. I didn’t really care about the damn test at that moment. I was feeling things I hadn’t felt in a long, long time with a guy…only it wasn’t with a guy, dammit! It was with Woody!

For his part, I could see nothing. He took a deep breath and stood up. “Okay, okay, okay,” was all he said as he picked up his bag again. For a moment I thought he was leaving and I didn’t know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing. “Luckily for you…”, he continued, pulling a small box out of his bag, “I had the foresight to pick up a pregnancy test at lunch today.”

“What? That was incredibly presumptuous. I told you that I didn’t…”

“I know, I know, but hey, now that you want it, we have it right here, see. Isn’t that a good thing?” I bit my lip. I truly hated it when people presumed to get me things they think I need. In this case, though, he was right. My sudden flare of anger cooled quickly and I held out my hand to take the box. “All right, how does this thing work?”

“You have to pee in it.”

“What?!”

“You pee in the little…whatever… device.”

“It’s a plastic thingie,” I said, rolling it around in my hand.

“Okay, then, you pee in the little plastic thingie. If a minus sign comes up, you’re negative. If a plus sign comes up…”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it.”

“Don’t get so nervous. We’re taking care of you. Geez, you’re actually sweating and it’s freezing in here.”

I was sweating and it had nothing to do with that test. What’s more, I was juicing up a lot down there. I couldn’t stop it because I wasn’t sure how to stop thinking of Woody that way. I looked at him. He was slight, balding and had thick glasses. Definitely not my type. Not even a single tattoo! Yet ever since I met him it had seemed like we’d known each other for years. We finished each other’s thoughts and sentences and put up with each other’s quirks…and mine could get pretty quirky sometimes. Why hadn’t we ever…? “No! No! No!” I thought to myself. “This kind of thinking is just wrong! I’ll take the damn test and get Woody out of here fast so I can get my mind off his cock…I mean…Oh, shit! That is what I meant!” I was a basket case and started to tear up again in my confusion.

“Honey, don’t worry! I’m right here for…”

“UUUUGH!” I interrupted as I ran in the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I pulled down my jeans and my pink lace thong and sat down on the toilet. I couldn’t deny the fact that the tiny crotch area of the thong was soaked. I spread my legs apart and ran the fingers of my left hand across my mound. I plucked at my dewy lower lips, fluffing them out like an aromatic flower. Oh so lightly, I let my fingertips tickle the soft flesh. My index finger found my swollen clit and I was beginning to feel really good when suddenly there came a tapping on the bathroom door.

“You okay in there?” Woody inquired quietly.

“Shit! Fuck! Damn it!! Go away! I’ll be out in a minute!” One thing was sure. I was too turned on to pee until I took care of myself. Maybe if I took a minute for that I could finally stop thinking about Woody “that way” and how good his cock would feel in my soft hands or…”Mmmmmm!” I had absentmindedly begun using my pinky on my clit. I closed my eyes and tried to think of a dozen other dicks but I could only envision one I’d never seen before-the one on the other side of that damned door. I imagined what it might feel like, pushing slowly up into my body, making me feel totally filled by his flesh. Ummmmm! I imagined I could smell his sweat and feel his hot breath on my neck. Oh my gosh! I was rubbing myself raw by that point and I was starting to tremble. It wasn’t easy but I stifled a moan as I started to come and my bladder muscles finally loosened up. I suddenly couldn’t keep from peeing. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to grab the pregnancy test off the sink next to me and catch a few drops in the little plastic thingie. I set it aside and slumped back on the toilet exhausted.